i think it’s time for me to acknowledge the fact that some friends see something in me. that’s the reason why they come to me when they feel bad, disappointed, hurt, dismayed or simply down. i always dreaded the fact that i might not have anything to say to make them feel alright and the thought of having to say the wrong words, even if they are the truth, might not make things easier for them. it’s scary sometimes but having the ability to say 2t words per minute has its advantage too. i get to say stupid things that can make them laugh.
why am i bringing this up? it’s because a friend of mine is actually going through a lot lately. it’s long overdue already and she needs to move on but sometimes life has its way of pushing the obvious. life did that to her.
to my fellow vampire, amorgatory, i love you and you know very well i want the best for you. even if you don’t say anything about what you are going through, i can feel the pain and the struggle. you know you can always call me and don’t worry about life. you will be fine. i know that’s not therapeutic enough to say but all wounds heal. they all do. by the way, i’ll be seeing you now and we’ll binge over pizza to make you feel alright. there’s no defeat in love, friend, only love. like i always say, breakups only mean self improvement and i am happy to say that you are being kind to yourself now and actually improving. letting go and moving on doesn’t mean you are nothing. it means you have a very bright life waiting for you to live it. lab ya, murat, and i know you know it. life will be kinder now. i promise you.
here’s a song for every person whose heart has been broken, be it intentionally or not. read the lyrics and hold on to hope. THE SUN’S GONNA SHINE ON EVERYTHING YOU DO.
Say it’s true,
Black and blue
I can share your situation
Been holding our emotions back
Will only make us cry
If you go, I know
But you know, it ain’t so serious anyway
When the clouds arise we’ll live on…
Ocean Drive Don’t know why (Don’t know why) You’re so blue (So blue) The suns gonna shine on everything you do
And the sky (And the sky)
Is so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
He left you, black and blue,
Without a word of explanation
And he took your love for granted and
He left you high and dry
You know someday
When you’ll wonder what you see in him anyway
What that days arrives we’ll live on…
Ocean Drive
Don’t know why Don’t know why)
You’re so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
And the sky (And the sky)
Is so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
i couldn’t sleep last night. i took the RC of the tv and when i turned it on, MYX was playing classics! i know the kids now might not have heard this but i like this one… yes… corny.. sige na…. but i like it… cool it now by new edition.
i received these quotes today which i want to share to you… one came from MR. UBE of sun cellular hindi niyo alam na may mr. ube is sun no? and the other one is from a dear friend…
moments we waste in anger and worries are actually moments of happiness we steal from ourselves.
the fastest way to make people laugh is to tickle and make face… but the most noble way to make them happy is to be ready to be sad just for them to be happy.
ggggrrrr!!! i can’t catch up with everything now! i miss blogging and i miss bloghopping. i miss bloghopping the most because i always feel that everyone has his or her own story and i’m always fascinated by that idea. it amazes me that we all go through different situations all at the same time and the thought that we get to have something to tell, well, it’s just good. it just shows that we are living our lives no matter how pathetic things are. that’s just the way it is.
i have so many things to say but, as usual, i don’t know where to start. i always get that mixed emotions of having to rationalize what i’m going through and trying to get the best out of everything even if it’s not the best thing. ang labo ko. i can’t help but feel pity for myself sometimes but i try to reason to myself that i really have to utilize every coping mechanism i can consciously take. ganyan talaga. when you want to be sane, you have to be insane at times. ang labo ko ulit.
sometimes i think i should have taken drugs or gotten myself pregnant or drank all the alcoholic drinks that the world has to offer and beat my threshold and to say that i, at least, deserve the punishment that i have to endure. i should have become a bad girl to make me justify that i truly deserved to be punished. but then i didn’t. i excelled in my studies, i excelled in sports, i excelled in anything i put my hands and head on. but i failed them… or so, they thought. they were complaining about having to see my contemporaries reach a certain peak in their career and that nobody in their children have reached anything. it’s because of this: YOU DON’T GIVE THEM THE CHANCE TO DO SO! how will they learn to decide for themselves if you decide for them? how do they learn to be themselves when they don’t even get to realize what their purpose in life is? take note: hindi ako suicidal ha!
i’m sorry if this ends up as something about VENTING again and being so random. i haven’t talked to my friends (by choice) and i refuse to talk to them now. why? it’s because i know that they’ve had enough of me also. i know it’s pathetic and i know i will regret someday that i get to blog this but the main reason i chose to do this is to remind myself. i have to remind myself that someday if i have my own family, i will not hold within my palm the lives of my children because it’s their own. i am only the guide. for God’s sake! i’m already __ years old… (hehe! the whole blog seems not willing to let my age appear.) and the sad thing about this is that i can’t do anything about it but just to hold on. when the problem is family, i have no choice but to hold on and think long term on how my actions will affect my relationship with them. how can i hate someone i love? conservative and strict? yes, that’s just they are. and can i do anything about it? maybe i can but i just don’t know how.
i have to agree with bluepanjeet. i have to utilize every coping mechanism that i can think of to be alright. i’m tired of complaining (but i just can’t stop) and i’m tired of having to rationalize everything. life is just that. that’s just the way things are. things do happen and although i get to say all the time that SHIT DO HAPPEN BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME, it does happen to me! i need to face the fact that it has to happen sometimes and i have to deal with that shit whether i like it or not. arrggghhh!!!!
there, i’m okay now. this blogging thing is really helpful, no? thank you for, at least, listening reading this blog despite of my numerous attempts to understand how pathetic my life is. aren’t you tired of me? i’m tired of me, you know. i’m tired of really being empathic about how frenetic this life is. i am a good girl but how come i have a very pitiful life?
anyway, for you, thank you for reading this. it’s pure rumblings, i know, but they have their beginnings. trust me. i had to spill everything out to be okay.
and yes, i forgot that i have online friends. i forgot to add that category to my previous entry. although we haven’t met, i’m glad i have you. i never thought anybody would listen read to anything i have to say. maybe you’re just like me too. you vent and you have your own story to tell. so to you, thank you.
