i think it’s time for me to acknowledge the fact that some friends see something in me. that’s the reason why they come to me when they feel bad, disappointed, hurt, dismayed or simply down. i always dreaded the fact that i might not have anything to say to make them feel alright and the thought of having to say the wrong words, even if they are the truth, might not make things easier for them. it’s scary sometimes but having the ability to say 2t words per minute has its advantage too. i get to say stupid things that can make them laugh.
why am i bringing this up? it’s because a friend of mine is actually going through a lot lately. it’s long overdue already and she needs to move on but sometimes life has its way of pushing the obvious. life did that to her.
to my fellow vampire, amorgatory, i love you and you know very well i want the best for you. even if you don’t say anything about what you are going through, i can feel the pain and the struggle. you know you can always call me and don’t worry about life. you will be fine. i know that’s not therapeutic enough to say but all wounds heal. they all do. by the way, i’ll be seeing you now and we’ll binge over pizza to make you feel alright. there’s no defeat in love, friend, only love. like i always say, breakups only mean self improvement and i am happy to say that you are being kind to yourself now and actually improving. letting go and moving on doesn’t mean you are nothing. it means you have a very bright life waiting for you to live it. lab ya, murat, and i know you know it. life will be kinder now. i promise you.
here’s a song for every person whose heart has been broken, be it intentionally or not. read the lyrics and hold on to hope. THE SUN’S GONNA SHINE ON EVERYTHING YOU DO.
Say it’s true,
Black and blue
I can share your situation
Been holding our emotions back
Will only make us cry
If you go, I know
But you know, it ain’t so serious anyway
When the clouds arise we’ll live on…
Ocean Drive Don’t know why (Don’t know why) You’re so blue (So blue) The suns gonna shine on everything you do
And the sky (And the sky)
Is so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
He left you, black and blue,
Without a word of explanation
And he took your love for granted and
He left you high and dry
You know someday
When you’ll wonder what you see in him anyway
What that days arrives we’ll live on…
Ocean Drive
Don’t know why Don’t know why)
You’re so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
And the sky (And the sky)
Is so blue (So blue)
The suns gonna shine on everything you do
i know he reads but he doesn’t leave comments or even tell me about what i write. he did tell me though that blogs are supposed to be short. i guess i have so many things to say, ton.
he’s one of my best friends. although we went to the same school, we didn’t know each other until we found ourselves as officemates in the company which we consider now as “the lost dream”. at first i thought he’s mayabang. you know… that typical rich and gwapo braggart but then he didn’t brag about anything. i just thought he was unapproachable. well, what can i do? they all knew each other and i was the only girl and the only non-techie person in that office. they too find me very suplada because i never talked to them and i was very contented doing my own stuff. it was a good thing he initiated in inviting me for lunch or coffee because it paved way for us to really know each other well. i know his preference when it comes to girls. he liked it when i go out for my biweekly grocery shopping for our office because he knew i will tolerate all that he picks for himself and not for the whole office. when he says coffee na tayo, that would mean synchronized movement to figaro or starbucks and that would also mean talking about pretty girls, dreaming, orchestrating some conspiracy theories about our situation in the office and a lot of backbiting. i couldn’t remember though if we got to talk about boys.teka, lugi ako dun ah. our trips to dswd, camp crame and wherever else were really time for us to talk about our lovelives and about almost anything else (including my crush to a certain varsity player in our school. LOL!) of course it was non-negotiable when we decided to have our tables placed side by side during the time the big boss chose to have a bigger office.
when i went to manila just this month we went out for a date. no, not that romantic date… just two friends catching up with each other. we both brought our cameras hoping that we will be able to bond again by taking some pictures since we are both into it already. as usual, we ate, had coffee, talked and listened. he showed me his compilation of pictures and we hopped around several shops to look for a suitable bag for his laptop and camera which i actually enjoyed because i couldn’t believe how mindblowing the prices are of bags nowadays. in short, i had a great time with him.
i just realized this. he always has time for me. he always makes it a point to text back, call or answer back in YM whenever i need him. he never ever gave me some headache or heartache about the advices he gives me and oftentimes shows a certain point or view in a such a way that i will be able to think about it but never feel bad about it. i don’t know if he feels obliged or just can’t say no to me but i do appreciate the fact that he tolerates me when i vent and when i do that, he actually listens. don’t you ever get tired or me, ton? actually, i don’t want to know the answer. it’s mainly because i want to stick to the idea that he is a very good friend to me and i hope i am to him also. reasons and rationalizations are beyond me. i just know that i appreciate the friendship more than anything else.
so to you, ton, thank you for being such a good friend to me. see you soon… of course, with our cameras again and never ending kulitan.
i was talking to my best friend awhile ago and i told her that i really love reading blogs because it keeps me sane. for some reason, i take comfort in the idea that i am normal because other people go through situations like i get myself involved sometimes too. she is skeptical about having to air what we all go through but i told her that aside from the numerous reasons you all have, for one thing, blogging is very therapeutic. for me, it releases all sorts of emotions and thoughts that i have inside and i become okay after i blog. plus, i gain friends too.
i can’t speak for yourself but i’m giving this space for you to tell her and the rest of the world your reasons. so why do you blog?
i was not in the mood to work yesterday so i pestered everyone in my YM. i was bored and not motivated. what can i do? so there… while chatting to a lot of them and actually left some messages to those who were hiding and been invisible, i discovered something. and again, out of boredom, chinismis ko sarili ko. yun nga lang hindi ko akalain na bigla itong magiging malaki… tingnan niyo na lang kung san napunta ang pagchichismis ko sa sarili ko. isipin niyong nagawan pa ng iba ng theme song ang chismis na yan. natuwa at natawa naman ako.
since tinatanong na lang din naman ni emoboy kung ano paborito kong kanta at nagdiclare na lang din naman si rio na dapat na theme song sa nangyari kahapon kaya ito…. hindi ko kagustuhan yan at alam kong sobrang gasgas na ng kantang yan pero in lieu of my katangahan, kachismisan at para naman makilig ang dentistang si rio at ng lalo akong tuksuhin ni mix, eto….. yoko nyan pero pag aksayahan ko na lang din ng space at ng mapangunahan ko na rin ang iba… (hahahah!) walang sense…hindi ko rin alam kung nagiging defensive ako nito o nagmumukhang pinagbibigyan ko lang si rio.. hahahaha! o sige na… kopyahin ko na lang din ang drama ni tapsi… O SIGE NA… AKO NA ANG MASAMA… AKO NA ANG MADUMI… teka, hindi bagay… pinapakilig ko ang ibang tao pero hindi dapat ganyan ang aking linya… O SIGE NA… KINIKILIG KAYO KASI KINIKILIG AKO PERO HINDI EH… ang labo pa rin…
ayan… yung song na yan dapat hindi para sakin… dapat kay rio yan at kay…… sino nga ba? at para kay emo… lalong nadagdagan ang mga favorite songs ko kasi pinahaba mo… pero itong kantang to walang kinalaman sa mga paborito kong kanta. pinagbibigyan ko lang si rio kasi… kinikilig sya…
kaya ang lesson: hwag itsismis ang sarili kung walang magawa..
