the american dream
American dream… i am throwing it all away. it’s not mine actually. for practicality sake, members of the family think it would be better i choose america as my working destination. for one, we have so many relatives there that in case something bad, say i get sick, will happen to me, at least there will be someone to check on me. but then it’s really not my first choice.
i have to admit though that this dream took a toll to my “sanity” mainly because it affected my plans for myself too much. i went through a lot just to make this a reality but maybe, just maybe, God must have been listening to my heart. As the turmoil calmed down, I have accepted that somehow and someway, this dream is really not mine and it will not come true.
I have been patiently and dutifully checking the visa bulletin every month to see general updates of the dates being catered by the american immigration and guess what i found for this month (again and again)? visas under my category is still unavailable.
A year and a half ago, such news can really ruin a few days of my life in a month. i would go moping around thinking how cruel things and God can be for not giving me “my life”. i would rant my hearts out to Tin and I would be blamed by my boyfriend then for not making ways of not being with him. in turn, i would find someone to blame that predicament too because i thought i didn’t deserve such an unsuccessful life.
But who cares now? i’m bored with anything america can offer to me now… the music, the movies, the news…. i don’t get easily enamored by them anymore. it feels like i don’t have to go there to know what it’s like to be there. Just click the remote control your television and boom! You see a whole parcel of anything american even in just an hour. There’s not much culture to explore anymore.
But then that’s just me.
So where do i really want to go? hmmmm…. i have this list somewhere tucked in…
I read your “disappearance” post more than a week ago. i thought nasa Amerika ka na or just busy with all the paperworks. But now, it came a little shocking to methat you are throwing the dream into the waste basket hehe.Women like you have your own ways and style of making decisions, and most of the time, i trust the intuition that equally plays with the facts. i hope you find peace and a greater sense of life’s adventure with this decision…
dFish
July 14, 2009 at 12:12 pm
hahaha! I’m not totally throwing it away. I’m just throwing the “american” part of it although the papers are still being processed. I am exploring other options.
ifoundme
July 14, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Throwing the “American” part hahahaha…
dFish
July 14, 2009 at 2:27 pm
hehehe…. kulit ba? hehehe! eh wala akong magagawa eh… parang sourgraping no? hahahah!
ifoundme
July 15, 2009 at 2:17 pm
lakat di cebu ah! hahaha.
Kaith
July 14, 2009 at 3:19 pm
dapat ara ko da end of this month pero my friends decided that they will be coming here instead after their seminars there. so, ikaw, hulton ta na lang ka di soon.. hehee!
ifoundme
July 15, 2009 at 2:18 pm
okay lang yan… makakarating ka din sa dapat mo paglagyan
mustah na? =)
Lalaine
July 14, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I”m good, Laine. Ikaw? how are you na?
ifoundme
July 15, 2009 at 2:19 pm
okay naman… eto minsan nagkakachat kami ni rio… medyo busy busyhan lang =).
Lalaine
July 16, 2009 at 12:40 am
ahay sala ang nabutangan ko, imagine mo na lang con nga may drawing nga arrow pa kadto di halin sa dalum hahah
Jacky Jan Ching
July 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm
okay lang… balo man ko pirmi ka lang talang. hahaha!
ifoundme
July 15, 2009 at 2:19 pm
positive attitude.. lang yan katapat ng dreams naten
go go!
cza
July 15, 2009 at 1:09 am
there are things that require more than positive attitude, so for this one, alternative route ang kelangan ko
ifoundme
July 15, 2009 at 2:20 pm
darating din yan….sa tamang panahon. malay mo may iba ka pa munang dapat puntahan bago US
madbong
July 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm
ayoko ng hintayin… parang ang tagal ko ng hinintay eh… i’m changing my course… LOL!
ifoundme
July 16, 2009 at 10:43 pm
pag hindi dumating hindi para sayo…malay mo para ka pala sa Europe para maiba naman sa mga kamag anak mo,hehehe
ingat!
p0kw4ng
July 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm
honga.. nakakapagod din maghintay sa hindi mo alam kung ddrating eh…
ifoundme
July 16, 2009 at 10:43 pm
hay naku mare! it’s fine. the truth is, hindi rin ako naaaliw sa american dream. to be honest, hindi ko pinangarap magtrabaho dun. feeling ko nga may pagka-jobnoy ako dati kase prang lahat gusto pumunta dun tapos ako parang deadma lang. feel ko yung tourist effex lang. pero para dun ma-realize yung dreams ko, sooo not happening! di ko ma-feel. so, follow your heart. madami pang ibang planets! hihihihi
marvin
July 16, 2009 at 2:32 am
heheheheh! so true mare… maybe God is really listening to my heart talaga. eversince naman parang di ko first choice yan eh…
ifoundme
July 16, 2009 at 10:44 pm
the american dream is for americans only, and what do they dream about? to live in some tropical island
the dream is here and we are living it 
you can always come to cebu hehehhehe
dan
July 30, 2009 at 11:22 am
hahaha! your comment made me laugh. every person has his or her own plans in life and has his or her own dreams to fulfill too. don’t worry, i’m pretty contented living in the island where I am now.. the land of piaya and tubo.
ifoundme
August 6, 2009 at 11:49 am
hehehe that is good to know. halong ka diha
dan
August 6, 2009 at 11:54 am
thanks for sharing your thoughts. yes, this situation can take its toll on anyone. when in this situation, one cannot fully invest herself in making a life here in the Phils when she knows soon she’ll be leaving. it’s hard to make long term plans if it’ll be interrupted anyway.
us immigration
August 9, 2009 at 4:24 pm