Ifoundme's Weblog

Just bear with the music. I have a penchant now with anything Korean. This addiction came 7 years late after I exposed myself working in a Korean firm but I guess the timing is just right. I really need something new to learn now.

Anyway, there’s really a reason why I posted that song. I’m not sure if it’s really a wise idea to post it here but I guess this is the only haven where I can truly express myself. After all, people (family & friends) don’t know I have this blog as a punching bag for my thoughts.  Don’t you think I’ve mentioned that for the longest time? LOL!

Let me humiliate myself now. I just want to ask this. Is it possible…. Is it possible that a guy can wait for like 12 years for his chance?

The truth is I’m scared to know the answer to that. I don’t really know how or what to feel about this.

Why am I asking this question? It’s because I found myself, at one time, doubting my stance over a decision I made 12 years ago. I officially decided on it 10 years back when I chose to have a boyfriend with another guy.

Would you mind me telling you how everything started? Let’s call the guy Ji Hoo (if you’re watching Boys Over Flowers, you’ll understand why I am calling him this name).

Ji Hoo was one of my first few friends when I entered college. I was an accounting major (which I soon ditched for marketing management) and he was enrolled in manufacturing engineering. We were introduced by my roommate who was his blockmate.  My first impression of him was that he was weird. LOL! Sorry for the being tactless but that’s how I perceived him to be.

Our group would go out for gimiks every Friday afternoon. It was sort of an agreement to let ourselves have an afternoon off from thinking about school works or anything related with school. I can’t exactly recall if he frequently went out with us. This was because, frankly, I was more into myself back then. I was enjoying my time being with friends and add to that is the fact that they had cute friends too. But I can clearly say though that we were really magkabarkada.

If I remember it right, he had a crush with one of his classmate named Pat. I know this because he would tell me about her and sometimes Pat would go with us too.  I can say she was a nice girl although I was not that close with her. I know his interest with Pat lasted long enough but I couldn’t really recall how it ended. Hmmmm….. I didn’t know maybe because I had already found another group which garnered almost all of my attention.

While they still go on with the gimiks, I was making myself busy enjoying the company of the aikido people. I have moved on to a phase wherein one of my dreams came true – that is to have “big brothers” – and I found that in the aikido group.

As I actively participated with the aikido sessions, I mentioned to my previous barkada how I was enjoying everything with the aikido group. Soon, I found them enrolling too. Actually, I think that was the time wherein the aikido club had the highest enrollees because the dojo was then full-packed and they were mostly from my former barkada.

It has always been a customary of the aikido group to make the members really welcome by asking them to hang out at the place allotted for the group within the campus. We usually do our homeworks their, play cards, talk, joke around or just do anything you want. We even had a logbook of messages in there in case you wanted to say something to one of the members or to the whole group. (celphones didn’t exist back then.)

to be continued…

english translation of the song

I believed it couldn’t be (oh)

That I loved you, it doesn’t make sense (oh)
That it was idle jealousy, That I was lonely
I tried to lie to myself, but I cannot hide it no longer

Chorus:
I think I love you, I think that’s what it is
’Cause I miss you, whenever you’re not around
I cannot do anything
And I keep thinking of you
Whenever I realize this, I think
I`m falling for you
I’m falling for you
I didn’t know, but now I need you
Suddenly, deep in my heart
I can see where you’ve settled

-Interlude-

We’re an odd couple, being friends is the best (oh)
Nothing about us matches
How can we date, it’s crazy talk
So I said and contrived, but I don’t want to do that no more

Repeat Chorus
Repeat chorus

Why didn’t I know, that it was you (oh)
Why didn’t I know, you were right in front of me (oh)
All this time you were right by me
Why do I only see the love now (oh)

Repeat Chorus
Repeat chorus