how can you?
God said to forgive those who wronged us seven times seven… but how do you really let go of the hurt and the pain that goes with it? you can say you have forgiven that person but how do you deal with the fact that you did nothing to make that person hurt you? how do you let go of the anger? how can you perfectly say that the doubt does not exist anymore? how can you turn away and do not let the past catch up with the present before it destroys the future? how can fix the broken pieces especially when even the the strongest glue cannot restore it to its perfection as it was before? how can you accept everything the way it is? how do you let go and accept?
Honestly, there is no going back to normal I dont think. People say you can forgive and forget but I don’t know if that’s really possible. All I know is is that if the hurt is still there then you haven’t forgiven the person yet. Maybe talking to them about it would help
. An apology is good too.
musicgrrl123
June 9, 2008 at 3:34 am
kamote naman…ang hirap naman nito!
sabihin ko na lang kay God “Lord pikit ka muna magkakasala ako”….
gravity, mahirap d kakayanin ng brainless head at emotinless kung heart!…grin!
kamotenista
June 9, 2008 at 4:52 am
paano nga bang magpatawad at lumimot???
sana may sumagot…
rio
June 9, 2008 at 4:56 am
a friend of mine once told me, “..saying sorry is not a way of easing the pain of the one hurt, but easing the remorse of the faulty..”, and i believed her…but as i live i discovered that the best thing this life can offer is to live life in harmony with fellow living creatures. ofcourse nobody is perfect, everyone of us has its own flaws, and every now and then we get hurt and endure the pain inflicted by these “living creatures”…but does picking the wound they left behind will help it healed? i dont think so.
Forgiveness comes with a clause “Forget”, you cannot say that you have forgiven someone without forgetting the past. on that clause also includes “wisdom”, so that the hurt and the faulty may learn, and with that these “broken pieces” can be fixed.
ang dami ko nang sinabi… mahirap talaga, but when you forgive, you have to forget…
mangyan ako
June 9, 2008 at 6:50 am
kapag masama loob ko, i get busy with my friends, hindi magpalakasing kundi to be with them kasi sila yung support group ko — they could make me smile, they could make me forget, they could joke about it, we could binge on it and yet i know in the end i know in the end i would have to decide on what to do… kaya mo yan. hugs to you
kengkay
June 9, 2008 at 7:33 am
how can you accept everything the way it is? how do you let go and accept?
:~(
lalaine
June 9, 2008 at 7:35 am
“…but how do you deal with the fact that you did nothing to make that person hurt you? ”
at least malinis ang konsyensya mo, at masasabi mo sa sarili mo at sa lahat ng tao na hindi sa iyo nanggaling ang lamat, at kung may sisihan mang magaganap, hindi nila pwedeng ituro ang kanilang daliri sa iyo.
utakmunggo
June 9, 2008 at 7:40 am
Nobody is perfect. All have strengths and weaknesses. People commit mistakes. To let go of his/her sins, focus on his/her strengths or good side. Think of the good memories and avoid the bad memories. If you can’t move on, sometimes you need the comfort of the people you love or sometimes you need a break and time for yourself. ):
Ang hirap talaga ng ganyang situation
icy
June 9, 2008 at 11:01 am
For me, I think it’s important to remember that even though people might hurt us, we are all creatures of sin. We are all capable of doing the very same things, so I have to remember the importance of forgiveness. Harboring ill feelings towards someone is what prevents everyone from healing and moving on past the hurt. Keeping ALL THAT in mind, it makes it a little easier to move on past it.
adam
June 9, 2008 at 1:10 pm
kanya kanyang paraan lang yan!
basta ako kaya kong hindi sya kausapin for a lifetime! sooo bad ako pag nagalit, pag sinaktan, pag inapi, pag tinapakan ang aking dignidad!
even the culprit’s death can’t erase it!
Geisha
June 9, 2008 at 2:10 pm
awww. same questions running in my mind now..
vanny
June 9, 2008 at 3:17 pm
you know, keeping the memory of the hurt or anger inside you will continually hurt you and cause you more pain then to the one who did wrong to you.
if you want to be healed, you have to let go…otherwise it will be worse to you
as I understood, there is a time to cry. And after that a time to stop crying and go on. Not as if nothing happened, but learning from it, and stop going back to that again and again in your thoughts.
difficult? yes, but not impossible.
you started your post with “God said…”
i want to encourage you with this: God gives strenght too…
eszter
June 9, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Just accept all the facts about it.. Uhmm.. kapag sinaktan ako, accept it! sinaktan ako ng walang kwentang tao. So? magmumukmok na lang ba ako dito?? of course not! accept the fact and move on.
jiMboy
June 9, 2008 at 5:41 pm
@ musicgirl123 – that’s true. the struggle is always about forgetting. we can always say that we have forgiven the person but the doubt is always there. we always make an extra effort to forget everything but there are instances really that the past creeps in and spoils everything. nothing goes back to normal, that’s true. it is broken and all we can do is hope that everything will be okay despite of what will happen.
@ kamotenista – ganyan din ako! hehehe! apir! Can i just ask God to exempt me from all of His rules so i can seek revenge? LOL! kaso promise Nya naman eh He will be the one to do the revenge for me.
@ rio – yan ang tanong ko na wala pang nakakasagot.
@ mangyan – salamat kapatid. yes, we learn from those “mistakes” but sometimes it’s always a struggle to really let go. the question really is how to let go. and you know what’s the funniest thing? you don’t get any apology from it. malalim to. and the only thing i am most hurtful of is that i did nothing to deserve this.
@ kengkay – thank you for your kind words. i do have lots of friends and a lot of them are very supportive and i greatly appreciate their love for me. yes, they are my support group. it’s the time when i am alone that i get to think about certain things… things like this… it’s like poison that it’s only killing me. kelangan ko na siguro talaga iblock sa mind ko to.
@ lalaine – i know it’s hard but we just have to have that conscious effort to let this poison leave us. we deserve to be happy. we don’t have to be in this situation all the time. that’s why we have to befriend time and be kind to ourselves. in the end i have to say that in God’s perfect time, we will be healed completely even if we’re still broken.
@ utak munggo – tama ka nga. that’s why i can look them straight in there eyes. minsan naisip kong i can confront them but will it ever give me justice? my mentor told me that it is in the bible daw to say or confront in a mellow way the person who hurt me regarding about what they did. i’m still contemplating if i still need to do that.
@ icy – that’s the hard thing. 2 persons, aside from, are involved. one is very close to me and the other one is someone who knows very well of my standing and my space in this world yet she chose to be stupid enough to intentionally hurt me. that’s the thing. it was intentional… act of full selfishness. on the other hand, i am indeed lucky to have such a very strong support group that even if i stay quiet, they are just there ready to take care of me. thanks for dropping by my mansion (this blog.)
@ adam – ahhhh… a new fresh thought to consider from a Christian. i almost forgot that i, too, am a sinner. is there some better way to shoo away the hurt?
@ mareng geisha – kaya kong gawin yan BUT siguro medyo malambot lang puso ko kasi i know deep inside that it’s not the best way. gusto ko ba come clean. samahan mo ako… sabunutan natin… call center din nagwowork yun.
@ vanny – it’s best to let out sometimes to at least ease the pain. you know… just let it out… sometimes the answers can be found just around the corner.
@ eszter – i almost forgot that. i should ask God to give me strength and the endurance to surpass this. i know it is attainable but there are instances that my ropes are not tight and i let loose. i have to go back to God… He has to sustain me.
@ jimboy – yan ang question ko eh… how to accept.. how to let go… marunong ako gumanti at gumaganti ako pero will that give me the justice that i need?
ifoundme
June 10, 2008 at 6:48 am
an easier way? Maybe, but a better way? I don’t know!
adam
June 10, 2008 at 12:32 pm
we let Time take its course.
some needed a month to forgive and forget, some years, some for a lifetime … it takes time.
eyna
June 11, 2008 at 10:17 am
@ adam – no easy answer, huh? oh well.. i guess that’s the beauty of life. it makes you find it out yourself.
@ eyna – yup, that’s why i always remind myself to befriend time. thank you.
ifoundme
June 11, 2008 at 4:05 pm
that’s the consequence of doing something right, it is undoubtably harder than a hard pandesal to forgive and forget, BUT, it isnt quoted that it is not possible, yes it is, it’s just pretty hard to do so, but if u really got the pure heart and a forgiving soul, “i forgive u” is a phrase you could voice out without hesitation
mumu sa kanto
July 1, 2008 at 2:59 pm