Ifoundme's Weblog

I never thought the day will come that I will think lowly of someone I respect. I know I have written before about my uncle and his wife; of how they chose to ignore their responsibilities to everyone. I don’t really mean to write everything in here but I am not allowed to even give my piece of mind about what’s really happening. So when I’m oppressed, I vent it somewhere and that somewhere happens to be this blog.

I was trained to always broaden my mind and to think that relationships are far more important than any disagreements or differences. I was brought up in such a way familial responsibilities should always come first and that no matter what happens, family is still family.

I thought everything I learned came from the strictness of adherence to value formation by our maternal grandmother. I thought everyone was molded by the way she demanded unyielding compliance in everything she thought was the right manner or conduct in dealing with life. Because of these, I saw how my mother and her siblings emotionally react in certain situations. I saw how they willingly and unquestionably extend their hand whenever someone needed help. I was always reprimanded about my absence in someone else’s funeral, wedding, birthday or any special occasion. Why? That’s social obligation according to them. You just have to show that you care and that you are there for them. This made me laugh sometimes. I thought that’s really ridiculous considering how big the clan is in just one side of the family. How can I be there all the time for that? You have to make time was always the answer. Fine, I have to accept that.

Why do I say this now? It is because I can’t quite clearly understand how my uncle can unthinkably trash away some of that for the sake of pride. My mind couldn’t fathom the sizeable wall that separates him now from his mother and siblings. Of all the values that were taught to them, why neglect in giving the outmost respect and importance to your family? I know that it is by choice and, sadly, he chose to be that way. Everyone tried to reach him but his excuses are really idiosyncratic; those which only the stupid can understand and the worse part is that he stands by them.

I know that he is not that stupid to let his mother suffer or let his siblings have a hard time in dealing with everything. I know that somehow the values that our grandmother tried to instill in them have really deeply rooted in his persona no matter he masks them with his pride. I just wish he lowers them because everybody is hurting. If he gives no importance to his mother or to his relationship to his siblings, then maybe it is worth letting go of him too.

I just don’t like the idea that time will come he will regret everything… that if only he lowered his pride, everything should have been okay. It’s not too late yet but if it will be, then I’m really sorry.

And to his wife… mosquitoes are easy to smash. You can suck and suck but you are just so easy to smash. You will have your time too. Time will serve you karma.