Ifoundme's Weblog

i was awaken by a text message saying this: OMG! I HAVE ONE STRAND OF WHITE HAIR! EEEEKKK!!! GOOD MORNING. so i started the day with a giggle. had i awaken at the wrong side of the bed, i could have thrown my celphone anywhere out of annoyance but that was not the case. i stood up from my bed ready to hit the shower when suddenly my mother came into my room and gave some papers to work on. i told my mother that i just woke up and to placed the paper on my table while i busily texted back that gay friend saying that there will be more to grow in the coming years. of course, a shrieking GAGA KAAAA!!! was the response. i just muffled my laughter.

i have gay distant cousins and didn’t normally mingled with them because they are a lot older and i was busy with my own life trying everything that i can try. when i reached college, my eyes opened and accepted the fact that they are everywhere. though i got a little shocked because my cousins may be gay but they didn’t really wear girls clothes or make up. they will be killed by their fathers, i’m sure. they just admitted that they are gay, danced like the gays do and, well, admired guys that are admirable.

but when i was in college, even the school was really placed in a position of uncertainty on how to deal with them. i had one classmate in my financial management class whom the professor didn’t know how to address. at the start of the term, the professor began with a roll call. as the professor shouted Mr. _____ ______ III, this gay classmate stood up. the professor showed a quizzical look. he tried to confirmed by asking are you Mr. ____ ___ the III? well, a very finesse, delicate, flawless, in a very short skirt and make up, long haired , beautiful guy stood up and smiled. YES, SIR! THAT’S ME! was the answer. the professor was caught off guard but he redeemed himself and asked about the gay’s nickname. LOL! normally, he would address his students with Mr. or Ms. but in our class, everyone was called by our nicknames.

though i was not that affected by the demeanors of the gays then, my mind opened to accepting them when a very close friend of mine admitted to me that he is one. i had my suspicions before but it was only confirmed by his admissions. i actually felt relieved for him. i felt that he was freed from his prisons. i encouraged him to tell our other friends because i perfectly understood how it is to release some burdens. it was so hard at first because we belonged to group where straight guys are really considered super macho. why? it was a martial art group called aikido and every guy in that group is either involved in other sports and aikido or other martial arts and aikido. so imagine how it was for a gay person to come out open with his case. every time the guys make jokes against gays, i can only feel pity and understanding for him. sometimes we will end up talking on the phone for hours with him pouring out his heartaches. at one point i got angry and told him that i will tell everyone about his case because i really hate it when they make those jokes. he feels hurt all the time. i told him that they will understand and surprisingly, they did. at least now he is free and the gay jokes stopped.

my best gay friends are actually in nursing school. one liked dancing and singing and being with foreigners. another one likes teaching, dressing up and partying and the other one likes to feel important. LOL! they are all nurses now and some of them are into relationship with some gays also.

like what i told one blogger, i couldn’t and wouldn’t define what they have because i just feel i’m not worthy to judge them. how can you judge someone who might be a little off in the eyes of the society but are very dear friends to me? i mean, they tell me the truth. they are very frank and does not, in any way, find ways to just hurt or leave me behind. of course they teach me how to be vain because i’m so plain. and they always see the beauty inside of me, appreciate me and fight for me. other than being gay, there’s nothing wrong with them. they are in fact achievers. they love their family so well that their greatest hope is to provide substancially for them. so is there something very sinful about them? they have been very good to me. i love them and they love me. why should i complain? i just can’t.